The best cook in these parts she was.
They called her Sagebrush Sue;
famous in the Badlands
for her red-hot rattler stew.
Well a grizzly dude came riding in
the Deadwood coach one day.
He stopped a piece t’ git some grub
at Sagebrush Sue’s café.
He ordered steak."And make it rare",
the grizzly traveler said.
"And when I sez I likes it rare,
I mean I likes it red."
Well Sue done killed and then she grilled
a big ol’ Badland steer.
She’d barely browned the meat at all
when poor ol’ Sue did hear,
" Y' call this burned up leather meat?
Worst cook I ever saw.
When I sez I likes it rare,
I mean I likes it raw".
"I barely browned the meat," said Sue.
"But tell y’ what I’ll do.
The grubs on me. I’ll serve fer free
my famous rattler stew."
She took a jug a rattler juice
and spiced her stew all up.
A drop or two was all it took.
She poured in near a cup.
The dude ate up and said t' Sue,
"As good as stew can get."
He ate ‘n ate; said it was great!
"Best grub I ever et".
When the Deadwood coach left town,
he wasn’t on the stage.
He’s in the Badlands slitherin’ round
and rattlin' in the sage.
His tongue was lightnin’ quick ‘n forked.
His teeth were sharp as nails.
The skin upon his hairy chest
was covered up with scales.
He joined a nest a’ rattlers,
of which there’s quite a few
that stopped by Sagebrush Sue’s, like him,
and had some rattler stew.
So folks, beware because I swear....
and I ain’t one t’ kid.....
don’t mess with Sue, cuz if y’ do
you’ll rue the day y’ did!
Bette Wolf Duncan ©2010
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